How did we become so self absorbed?

One of my daughter's friends is being taken by Child Protective Services. Her mother and father are divorced. Her father does cruel things to her when she visits him like shooting her with bb guns and the like. Her mother is a prescription drug addict, and crazy as a loon on top of that.

This is a kid who has a 4.0 grade average. She participates in band. She is a bright and lovely child, but all of the loveliness in her life is being crushed by selfish people who don't see what they are doing to their kids. Her siblings are both drug addicts like their mother, and will both be in rehab.

Instead of reaching out to this kid, they respond to her behavior in such stereotypical ways. She is a button pusher. She tires to find out what bugs you and then she digs in and uses that weak point to break you down mentally. She's smart. Really smart. So like most smart kids who don't want people to see their pain, she acts out in ways to push society away from her.

She wears the black lipstick, colors her hair strange colors, and gets piercings by tattoo artists in their twenties that she dates (she is 15). So what do people do? Instead of paying attention and listening to this kid, they write her off.

When they look at the girl, and she's a large girl (not overweight, but tall and stout), they see a freak show. When I look at her, my heart breaks. I see a scared and lonely child. My wife sees the same. More importantly, my daughter also sees it, and she has reached out to this girl like so many others won't. Of course, my daughter knows more about what happens with her friend than we do.

All I know is that there is a little girl who needs God, but she won't accept God. I see a little girl who will accept unconditional love by a stable couple. Through that unconditional love, God can work in her life. Through that unconditional love, she can find hope.

She stayed with us for a week over the summer. In just a weeks time I saw a huge change in her. It wasn't the first time she had stayed with us. The first time, my wife was worried about having her around. When I walked my wife through how to deal with a teen like this one, she finally understood. With some patience in the time my daughter and the girl have been friends, we have built a relationship with the girl. And that last week she stayed with us, she never tried to shock us or push buttons. She was just herself: A smart, witty, 15 year old girl.